It’s very important to find people who can understand you and accept you for who you are: you need your Crazy tribe. They don’t have to have the same diagnosis. Maybe they are also neurodivergent in other ways, which is still very relatable. Or maybe they are typical and sincerely don’t judge you for your mental health status or history.

Perhaps they are role models you don’t even know in person: celebrities who bravely share their labels, or fact or fiction individuals from books and movies who thrive with symptoms or are vulnerable. Inspiring people who have success and charisma who are undoubtedly touched by madness. Who have mad pride!

Your tribe may evolve, shift, break, disappear, reform, or start over at various points in your own changing life and selfhood. That’s okay and all the more true when you live with episodes. There must still be an upward trend and trajectory to better connections alongside better self and health.

Bipolars especially cannot sit back and wait for an unjust world to hand them what they need, and that includes community and companionship. A lot of personal hard work may be involved sometimes in reaching out and building own connections. Conversely, it is a lot of work to sever ties as well as needed. Sadly, it can be really disappointing when you finally have a good friend and then lose them somehow. Like moods themselves, social connections have their ups and downs and roller coasters and so it is very helpful to stay positive even if or when you feel frustrated with other people.

The best approach here is always to be choosy, flexible, and fearlessly-self-protective socially. Relationships can be sources of great joy and healing or they can be hurricanes that spiral us unnecessarily, whether or not mental health is involved. But then, Bipolars are typically even more extra-sensitive to their friends’ perceptions of them and their good or bad influence, and own effects on said friendships. So besides red flags, learning the golden flags that signal character who exhibits kindness and an open mind and heart is a rewarding skill.

Having people to look to or look up to is possibly even more imperative for the crazy people of this earth because of how often they may have been rejected to begin with or rejected themselves. Therefore, discovering true acceptance and inspiration through peers can be truly transformative and relieving for bipolars. Maybe more people could work a bit harder to meet mentally struggling people where they are at and dismantle their own stigma. Until then, we will gladly pick our own crew.

I’m glad there’s no cure for me. If somebody cured me, they’d kill me. If I were ever cured of my ailment, my new ailment would be that I wouldn’t be the same person at all. The ups and downs, as steadied as I can be by my treatments, are what make me, well, me. This is the one thing I have learned about living with managed bipolar disorder for ten years, and it’s the most important thing I’ve ever learned: although my disease is not who I am, neither would I be who I am without the uniqueness of my disease and the gifts it has given alongside the obvious curses. I’m Beautifully Bipolar.

So, when a doctor, parent, friend, or other concerned individual tries to help me without judging me, they will still inadvertently be crushing me myself by pathologizing or criminalizing the quote-unquote “broken” part and trying to sever or eliminate the inextricable Bipolar, which is what most treatments perpetually do since Bipolar is “bad” right? Wrong, Bipolar is a disability that provides special strengths in addition to the unfortunate weaknesses, and justly deserves to be acknowledged by name, understood, at times celebrated, and patiently born with just like other physical states that can be problematic. Maybe one day Sane-O’s will embrace “crazies” for who we are which will help us embrace who we are too much sooner; until then, we have a lot of patting-on-the-back to do.

In any case, Bipolar is a beast you learn to live with, not conquer or escape, and once you know this you will see its powers are also endless. For instance, I can tolerate most kinds of external stress, and even most internal stresses. If I head towards entering crisis by this point, chances are I can head it off by using the resources I’ve collected and the instincts I’ve honed. It’s seasonal, so it’s semi-predictable, with big and small triggers. It is not as impossible to control as the weather. Just like the basic human condition, self-control is related to success and being Bipolar just means you need to be that much stronger at doubly mastering the divergent self. But it is no small feat and can take long journeys to discover and practice self-management of this so-called disease. Other natural and learned gifts include tolerance, sensitivity, empathy, originality, individuality, ingenuity, inner strength, resilience, awareness, courage, people-reading, inventiveness, willingness to try new things, insight into the human condition, and more.

The ignorant world doesn’t help much, no matter how much it loves you, so you have to save yourself from the wracking of the waves. When I was a kid and felt out of place, it hurt. When I got sent away to an institution as a teen, it hurt more. The freedom I thought I had in my twenties were riddled with far more than the average levels of confusion and agony that young people are forced to navigate. Then, when my symptoms continued entangling with addictions and PTSD, and more psychotic episodes— I mean, it took me so many hospital trips to finally say okay I need to help myself and it’s going to be a lot of work but if I don’t, I will endure way more pain than joy, and I needed joy. I wanted to live, and live well.

No degrees, professional experiences, or social situations ever meant more than managing my disease. No person or book has taught me as much as my illness has taught me, and I’ve known a lot of people and read a lot of books. As a matter of fact, my “illness” and its threats, if having its reign, wouldn’t permit me go to school, work, or maintain a family and social life if I didn’t give it precedence as the number one priority in terms of my daily and lifelong attention. Like a puzzle, however, once you put the Bipolar first, you can then begin to put yourself first too, finally.

Being bipolar me lets other people love bipolar me, just as I do. People can never love me without learning the nature of Bipolar, through information or experience or both. It is not possible for me to be happy and loved without self-compassion and the subsequent compassion of others who are kind. My partner has learned the language and is very skilled at determining when I am exhibiting symptoms or when I am not and this mainly has an effect on how we handle conversations surrounding potential conflicts or not feeling well. I am forever grateful to this wonderful person for his understanding which I know for a fact is easier to summon sometimes more than other times. Not only this, but if I feel I acted poorly he will not only immediately forgive me but tell me that he knows it wasn’t me or my intention to be hurtful and he can see that I am, in fact, deeply hurting in those moments that pass, and they pass so easily when he confirms for me not to feel guilt or shame. I wish everybody to know this kind of Love and it’s healing and growing powers.

Bipolar can be a barrier to health and even life, but if we can wrap our minds around it, it can also be a beautiful tree that blossoms in incredible and unexpected ways under the necessary circumstances, and continues to share its rare gifts in and out of any storm. So thank you, Bipolar Disorder, for making me, me!

Bipolar 1- It’s important to properly diagnose, but often gets misdiagnosed and mis-managed as unipolar clinical depression.

After being treated for the wrong conditions at 15, mistreated for the right condition to my early 20s or so, and finally mutually well-treated and well-self-cared-for regarding the right condition, I will say that ten years was a long journey to the proper mood management I use now.

In this girl’s experience, and now having been mood-stable for another ten years, I will say that social support and system-based assistance can both be critical, but nothing is more critical for mental-wellness than self-acceptance.

To recover, to become even better and more empowered than you were before or probably would’ve been otherwise, one must cultivate a willingness to accept the condition and accept themselves. Embracing who we are, disorders included, allows us to shed stigma’s chains and enjoy a life of balance, and of, perhaps ironically, greater liberty and peace.

So what does self-acceptance look like in the face of a new or undesireable diagnosis? Assuming you have received a proper diagnosis, I have outlined 3 Keys to Accepting a Mental Health Condition:

Acceptance Key #1: I myself am NOT my mental health diagnosis! (it refers to a not-uncommon Brain disorder)

Just because I HAVE a Bipolar condition does not mean that WHO I AM is Bipolar. I am Alysha-Marie, always have been always will be. But I do LIVE WITH neurochemical imbalances that complicate my existence when I don’t practice learned awareness, coping activities, and the creation of specific plans including plans for possible future crises. This is to say, Bipolar or Schizophrenia or Depression are types of organic biological problems requiring maintenance just like Diabetes or other chronic illnesses— just less visible or well understood by science and medicine, thus still too often stigmatized by our cultures. We are absolutely not into participating in this process of shame. Be you, accept the dumb name for it, and keep your pride.

Acceptance Key #2: These diseases are for life, usually.

The not so good news? I’m a Lifer, meaning that Bipolar is a Friend that I don’t always want to have around, but need to put up with. Mood diseases like mine may vary in severity among different people, and across life spans. The good news? Their longevity gives you ample time to become an expert on your own condition, find out what makes you tick, and ideally manage your symptoms like an old-pro. The chronic nature of brain disease is perhaps an even harder pill to swallow than an initial diagnosis (or the next new psychiatric-medication you’re hesitant to try but will because there’s no other option than endure the likely side-effects in order to ultimately, improve your quality of life overall). Like the Label, embracing the fact that there’s no Cure is healthy in the long-run and helps you continue to help yourself too. I promise, trust me, everything gets better.

Acceptance Key #3: Your mental illness gives you gifts, not just struggles.

What? What might a gift look like, if it could arise directly from having a mental illness? I’m glad you asked. First of all, people who are divergent in their neurology often have proven traits of creativity, resilience, and empathy. Secondly, you probably see the world in an importantly-different way, through a more unique perspective, a rarer lens. People who are different, simply have a lot of new ideas and things to offer the world (hello, geniuses!). Think of it like being extra special. And who knows? Maybe other parts of unwell brains function stronger when the poorly-functioning parts cause issues. Put simply, personal trials lend character, and mental health journeys are no exception. It may not feel like it, but everyday you have gifts and potential, and some of that is almost certainly thanks to your endurance in pursuing mental-wellness. So good job!

My name is Alysha-Marie and I am here to share with you educational resources, thought-provoking ideas, and inspiring personal testimonies about lived experience with mental-illness in order to demonstrate how shown resilience can ideally offer hope and comfort to others as well as myself. I know I can’t be the only one who wants to live in a world where we turn unwellness into wellness! So let’s talk about it.